Living With Boys

SNOW!!

2008-12-12T08:56:00.005-06:00

We were all super excited when the raindrops turned to snowflakes!

A happy Daddy watching his boys play.

A frozen Mommy loving every minute of it.

Hmmm...

2008-12-09T07:59:00.003-06:00

I don't have another ultrasound until next Thursday, so still no official update. But here's a new belly shot. My guess is they're growing just fine! :)

Point of Grace - "Before the Throne of Grace"

2008-12-04T09:57:00.003-06:00

Before the throne of grace I come

Humble and repentant one

With sorrow for the deeds I've done

Before the throne of grace I come

Before the throne of grace I fall

With a trembling voice I call

For pardon from the Lord of all

Before the throne of grace I fall

I love the Lamb who took my sin

Whose Mercy makes me clean again

Before the throne of grace I hear

Debt is paid your name is clear

Such precious words of life so dear

Before the throne of grace I hear

I love the Lamb who took my sin

Whose Mercy makes me clean again

I rise with words of grateful praise

Knowing now the only way

Before the throne of grace I stand

All because the Son of Man

Bears my wounds, His Feet, His Hands

Before the throne of grace I stand, I stand

Before the throne of grace I stand

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So, I'm a little late on an official Thanksgiving Day post, but surely it's always the appropriate time to give thanks. I just want to share with you the overwhelming thanks I give to my Savior today for the amazing, unearnable, completely undeserved opportunity to stand before the throne of grace. We can stand! His grace covers us. We come fallen and trembling, and He lifts us up! We stand in Him. Clean. Forgiven. Grateful. When we accept His offer to get up, to take His hand, to let go of whatever we've done and whoever we've been, to hide ourselves in Him, that is when we are free to lift our heads in hope and our hearts in praise. We get the outrageous benefit of knowing Him, and He gets the glory due His name. I hope you know Him today in a way that prompts you to join with me in thanksgiving and praise for who He is and what He's done for us.

Getting Bigger!

2008-12-02T17:18:00.003-06:00

Saw my friendly OB this afternoon. I didn't have an ultrasound this week, so I don't have an update on the babies' weight. They're definitely growing though. Two weeks ago, my belly measured 37 weeks. Today it measured 40weeks. My dr said the "goal" is still to schedule a c-section at 37 weeks, mid-January. But I have a feeling he doesn't expect me to go that long. On his way out the door he said, "Ok, see you in two weeks. Let's just hope you make it that long!" Yikes! We're getting close! He did say if I go into labor before 34 weeks (that's the week of Christmas), we'd try to stop it. After that point, if I go on my own we'll proceed with the c-section at that time. There's still a chance my Mom was right all along, cause I could soooo end up with Christmas babies.

For comparison's sake...

2008-11-25T16:43:00.005-06:00

Okay, so this is an even worse picture, but I had to post it just for fun. Here I am 2 days before Tony was born!

My Belly

2008-11-25T08:06:00.003-06:00

Here's a really bad picture from Tony's party to show you how big my baby belly is already.

7 weeks to go!!

Happy Anniversary

2008-11-24T08:39:00.004-06:00

Seven years. Four kids...well, sort of. :)

Thanksgiving!

2008-11-23T20:56:00.004-06:00

Mom came home this morning and is doing well. She'll be off work all this week. She'll stay on the Coumadin, and the dr will have to check her blood a couple times a week. We're all so thankful to have her out of the hospital. And so thankful the Lord kept her safe from all the potential dangers she faced with these blood clots! Thank you all for praying with us thru this.

Party at StoneCrest

2008-11-21T20:29:00.002-06:00

It's official. We'll be having half of Tony's party here tomorrow afternoon and half at StoneCrest with Gramma. Mom did get her walking privileges back this afternoon, and her blood levels have been good most of the day. They won't draw blood again till tomorrow. All good news. The dr says we'll just have to take it day by day. No estimate of how long she'll be there. Please, if you're still reading, continue to pray for her. Thank you!

Mom again

2008-11-21T09:04:00.003-06:00

Mom's surgery went fine. She had a rough day yesterday, just cause she's over all this mess! And I certainly can't say I blame her at this point! Her first blood draw this morning was in the therapeutic zone, so if the next one is, too, then she won't have to have her blood drawn every 2 hrs all day. That would be great! The dr hasn't been by this morning yet, so she's still on strict bed rest. Hopefully she can get up once he comes in. She's still hoping maybe she can be out of there by Tony's bday party tomorrow afternoon. We'll see...

Keep praying for Mom, please!

2008-11-20T09:46:00.003-06:00

Dad just called. They let Mom get up and walk a little last night, which surprised me. But when she did she had another episode where she couldn't catch her breath. Dr said more than likely another small piece of the clot in her leg broke loose and landed in her lung. He thinks since the symptoms passed quickly enough that probably it is small again and will be dissolved quickly, so he's not doing a scan to prove it's there. They are, however, going to put a filter in this afternoon at 1:30. Should be a minor procedure (which makes me a little nervous since the whole vein thing was supposed to be a minor procedure, too, and here we are!) with a local anesthetic. Anyway, they will put a filter at the clot in her leg/groin area so that if anything larger does happen to break loose it will be caught there and safely dissolved w/o chance of it causing serious injury elsewhere in the body. Supposedly this will not lengthen her stay in the hospital. But, of course, she'll have to come off the Heparin for awhile before surgery so that her blood is not too thin, and then they'll have to get the numbers regulated again. Please pray that all goes well today!!

Update on Mom

2008-11-18T20:37:00.003-06:00

Yay! Mom's blood hit the target range this evening. It stayed there for 2 testings, so now she gets to go all night without having blood drawn! Very exciting! She might even sleep. :) They'll check again in the morning to see if it stays as thin as they want all night with the Heparin drip dosage they've got her on. Plus they're starting the Coumadin tonight. She'll be on that for probably six months (unless they find that she actually has a blood disorder that caused the clots, in which case it'll be unending treatment). So we'll go from here in the morning...

I took the boys out to see her this evening. I'm not sure who was more excited, her or them! Some of Mom's friends from their church small group came while we were there and brought flowers...and those really cool bubbles that you can actually catch without popping. Mom was already taking the boys for "rides" with her on her hospital bed! Uuuuuup, dooooowwn, uuuuup, doooowwwn!! Then they had bubbles to play with, too. It was quite a hospital visit. :) Dad and I just laughed. That woman will never grow up...and it's one of the things we just love about her!

Please pray

2008-11-18T16:04:00.003-06:00

Mom recently had what was supposed to be a minor surgical procedure done on some really painful varicose veins in her leg. She had some unexpected complications. Yesterday she had a CT scan which showed blot clots in her lung. My brother and I took her to the hospital last night to be admitted for treatment. (My Dad, despite still recovering from foot surgery of his own, made a super quick turn-around trip from Mississippi to get back here after taking my Mamaw home yesterday. So he got in about 1:30 this morning.) Mom's been on a Heparin drip since last night. So far, they still haven't gotten her blood thinned to "therapeutic levels" in order to dissolve the clots. They found an additional clot today in her upper leg. Apparently a very rare result of the vein procedure and the origin of the clots in her lung. They're having to take her blood every 2 hours to check thickness, so the arm w/o the IV has already been stuck about 1o different times and is all bruised up. Ouch! Originally the dr said 2-3 days in the hospital. He came by while I was there today and explained what all they've found and changed his prognosis to a week in the hospital followed by blood thinning treatment at home.

Please pray that the clots dissipate quickly and safely! Also, pray for her state of mind. Mom's a very positive person. Not much gets her down, so that's always good! But the timing of all this really kinda got her. I had an ultrasound this morning, and we'd planned for a couple months now for her to go with me and see the girls. Then we were going to spend the day out together (since my dear hubby agreed to keep all the kids for me!). When she called last night she was more upset about missing the ultrasound than she was about going to the hospital! Now they're saying she may need to stay at the hospital all week...and Tony's birthday party is Saturday afternoon. She's going to be one upset Gramma if she can't come to the party! We've all learned that when it comes to being with her grandkids, you better just let my Mom have her way! :) Sooo...we may be having Tony's 3rd birthday party at StoneCrest!!

Careful now...

2008-11-17T07:38:00.003-06:00

You guys better be careful putting your baby holding skills and volunteering hearts in writing like that! I'm keeping a list, and there's a good chance you may get called up for active duty!! ;) And this is what it could look like...

Mad, mad Tony at 4 weeks old!

Wow!

2008-11-14T06:44:00.002-06:00

You guys, I'm so excited! Thanks for the comments. It's great to hear from you all! Feels good to be back on the blog.

Just for the record, at 28 weeks into this pregnancy, YES, I am pretty much still in shock!! Both by the fact that I'm having twins AND by the fact that they are girls!! What on earth am I gonna do with GIRLS?!?! Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier. Steve and I were both hoping for a girl this time. And this way, I get to even out the troops all at once! I'm looking forward to not being outnumbered by the boys. Tyler and Tony are both really excited about their sisters, too. Tyler was hoping for a girl from the beginning. Tony not so much. I believe his first response was, very grumpily, "I no like sisters!" He's definitely warmed up to the idea though. I think he's ready to be a big brother. Tyler has taught him well. :)

So far, everything has gone wonderfully with the pregnancy. I was pretty sick for the first 12 weeks, but I guess between having twins AND girls I didn't have much of a chance to escape that this time around. I'm a lot more tired with the twins than I was with either of the boys. And I'll admit I'm beginning to wonder just how enormous my belly is actually going to get!! My official due date is February 5, but my dr said we're shooting for 37 weeks. So, assuming all goes as planned, we're expecting to have the girls around the middle of January.

Time has started to fly by, much like it usually does around here when autumn hits! There's still so much to do. Lisa and Vicky, my wonderful friends, are helping me finish up the nursery. Vicky's doing all the shopping around and hunting for all the stuff we need to finish decorating. And I am sooo thankful. I love, love, love to do this kind of thing. Shoot, I love to shop for pretty much anything. But I'm just worn out all the time! And I knew I should have already taken care of all this stuff, but the procrastinator in me just kept putting it off. Now I'm huge and achy and tired...not to mention a little whiny, huh?! :) Anyway, with their help I'm sure the nursery will be absolutely lovely. That way at least I'll have a nice, cozy, comfy, happy place to sit and pull my hair out when both the babies are screaming at the same time and their big brothers are trying to kill each other as boys often do!! Yep, this is going to be an adventure...

Birthday Camping

2008-11-13T19:02:00.003-06:00

Despite my growing baby belly (and the need to go pee every 10 minutes), we went camping again this year for my birthday. It was actually the only chance our family had to camp at all this year. We stayed with Jason and Lisa in their camper. Everyone had a great time! These kids sure were ready for a bath when we got home.

Okay, okay!!

2008-11-13T07:19:00.003-06:00

I know, I'm a complete failure in blogdom!

I know this! I can't believe you guys are still checking. Seriously. Well, you win. I'm giving in to the pressure. But not right this minute. Heehee...you have to wait just a little bit longer. My promise to you: a new update by the end of the weekend. A real one. So check back to get the scoop. Right now I've got some preschool teachin' to do!

A Beer

2008-01-11T18:57:00.002-06:00

A beer? Huh? My two year old wants a beer? It took a few days, but we finally figured out that Tony's really saying "up here." Then I realized that when I say, "You want up here?" it really does kinda sound like, "You want a beer?" Sooo, any time he sees something interesting up high or wants us to hold him, he kindly requests "a beer." :)

I like the pillows!

2007-12-14T07:45:00.000-06:00

Every year at Christmastime, Mom makes the most delicious "trail mix" ever. It's funny, because it's one of those things that's sooo easy to make...yet we wait for this time of year to have it. That's probably a good thing, though, cause I can eat my weight in that stuff. And man, that's a LOT! :)

Anyway, last night the boys and I were snacking on some of that yummy Christmas treat, and I noticed Tony being very careful to only eat the Chex out of it. Typical. I mean, we all have our favorite part of the mix! But then I had one of those sweet moments that only a parent can have, when your kids aren't killing each other and some special little similarity shows itself. Their differences are consistently clear, but I so enjoy the little moments where I can see one in the other...when I see them as...brothers I guess. Duh! :)

But it was nuts. Tony stuck his chubby little hand in the bag to grab a piece of cereal and said with a grin, "pillow." Suddenly my mind flashed back, and it wasn't Tony at all. It was my little, blonde haired Tyler standing there, still with his precious baby fat, saying "pillow." I guess it seems silly, but so much went through my mind when my baby used the same word for Chex that his big brother did when he was a toddler. He'd never heard Ty call cereal a pillow. It was his own word as much as it was Tyler's own word a few years ago. And for whatever sentimental reasoning, it was enough to make me squeeze them both just a little tighter last night. Perhaps it was the thought of how quickly they grow, or maybe it was just one of those moments overwhelmed by love for the little guys. Whatever. It was precious. And I'm still smiling about it today!

Pluck it!

2007-11-28T19:34:00.003-06:00

Interesting expletive, huh? :)

What do you do to relieve stress? Do you have a stress plan? I mean, do you consciously turn to a certain activity or ritual or habit that soothes you? Or do you just find yourself doing a certain something in stressful times?

I've noticed over the years that one of my most effective methods of stress relief is the otherwise much dreaded deed of shaping my eyebrows (or, as I mentally refer to it, the completely insane, unnecessary, and incredibly painful ripping out of the hair in my delicate eye area!). Yep. I'm certifiable. It works though. I've never ever actually done this on purpose to relieve stress, but I noticed once that I was just plucking away, and I couldn't even feel it. Normally I'm one of those total weenie girls that can't help but form tears as the hairs are jerked from their rightful home on my brow. I don't actually "cry," of course, but there's definite watering of the eyes. :)

Anyway, I was stressing over something at the time I made this strange observation. Out of curiosity, I did a little digging through photos, and I found that I tend to get a little bushy when the stress level is low. Yet, in the pictures taken at the most tense times of my adult life, I'm sporting some seriously sexy eyebrows!

Now this really only works to a certain degree. I've had a couple of total down and out lows that certainly couldn't be detected by the thickness of my brows, but for the most part if you're wondering how I'm really doing just take a closer look...not into my eyes, but above them!

Party Moments

2007-11-23T19:48:00.002-06:00

So, check me out...I finally did a little slide show deal for ya. :) Wanted to share a few of the sweet little moments from Tony's 2nd birthday party. In case you haven't noticed, it's over there on the right. ;) I guess black and white is probably a little odd for a crazy toddler's birthday party, but I think the photography of the day kinda reflects the nostalgia Steve and I were feeling. Still can't believe my baby is two.

I Two!!

2007-11-20T06:17:00.002-06:00

This picture was taken yesterday...or at least it seems that way to me! Little Anthony Thomas turned two last week, and he's been busy reminding me of that fact, both in word and deed! :) I'll try to get some birthday party pictures up soon, but since I've been reminiscing over his birth day pictures for a week now, I just had to share this one.

And Finally, Our Halloween Party!!

2007-11-05T13:40:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the delay. We've had some computer issues that have kept me from getting the pictures to the blog. Here are a few of the cutest. Hope you enjoy!

We had a lot of fun here on Halloween! Here we are making lots of "music" with our shakers and dancing to the beat...

Spidey-Zach enjoying every last bite of his yummy cookie treat...

Elmo-Nathan making his latest favorite face. How cute is that?!

Our very own collection of Tiggers...
Brianna, who was "supposed" to be Tinkerbell but wanted nothing to do with her costume while she was at my house. She wasn't the only stubborn one though. This is Tony's costume, and he went running and screaming from Mommy at the first request to put it on. Bri made a pretty cute Tigger too though, don't you think? :)

And my dear Tony, the true owner of the Tigger suit. Once Bri had it on, he could hardly wait for his turn! That's Tony for ya!

And yet another Tigger...Dillon came with his own Tigger costume to bounce around in! What a sweet face!

Halloween is just not complete without a superhero or two! Tyler and Zach were ready to protect us in their spidersuits. Those two boys are so much alike. It really fit for them to be twins for the day! :)

Okay, how perfect is this?! I mean really! Garrett's Daddy is a mechanic, and Garrett's already a car guy just like him. Amanda has a picture of the two of them in their "work" clothes. Love it!!

I wasn't able to get a lot of action shots of our day, since I'm pretty much engulfed in the action around here! The kids had a lot of fun seeing each other all dressed up though. And we read Halloween books and did Halloween crafts all day. We practiced saying Happy Halloween and trick-or-treat. I wish I'd gotten some video of that! They were soo cute!

Somehow I failed to get a picture of the sweet little pumpkin, Ian. He was a total doll in his orange and white outfit. Sorry I can't show you. :(

It was a great day for sure. The kids are at a wonderful age now. We just have so much fun. Thanks again to you mommies and daddies who share your little ones with my family and me. We love them!!

To school or not to school...

2007-11-05T08:57:00.000-06:00

That is the question! Tyler will be starting kindergarten next year (wasn't he JUST born??), and Steve and I are seriously considering home schooling. I know several of you have school aged children, and even those of you who don't may have a well-defined opinion on this. So I'm asking to hear them. Let me know what you think...public school or home school? And why?? I just want to really think thru all the issues. So maybe you've thought of something that hasn't crossed our minds yet. Please share! If you don't want to make a public display, that's perfectly fine. You can also email me at kristiemknox@yahoo.com.

Thanks for sharing!!

The Beauty of Discipline

2007-10-24T20:44:00.000-06:00

Since I just know you've all missed hearing from me on my blog (all 2 of you!), here's something special for you...another glimpse into my ugly heart. I'm sure you can just hardly wait! :)

God's been revealing to me, over and over, and in so many creative ways lately just how serious is my deficit when it comes to self-discipline. Being a disciple of Christ happens to require an enormous amount of discipline. Ever notice how those 2 words are ever so similar?! Yeah, that's probably a clue. :)

Steve and I are participating in a family and parenting class in our Sunday School hour this quarter at church. We're learning how to parent from a strictly biblical perspective. We're realizing just how much of who we are and who we've been teaching our children to be is, at best, cultural. It just blows my mind to think how many things we simply accept as true just because it's what we've always heard or how we were raised. It's been a very interesting class, and though I'm pretty sure I'm known all over the church now as the crazy woman who can't control her children, we're learning a lot! And it's slow going, but the Lord is so faithful to bless us when we truly desire to honor Him through obedience. As we obey Him in our parenting, we pray we'll be teaching the boys to do the same in their own lives.

I spent most of Sun morning thinking about how all these little rules we're learning to teach our children really apply to me and my own obedience, or lack thereof, in my walk with the Father. For example, delayed obedience is disobedience. Dang. How often do I put stuff off, you know? And I don't mean years, but just a moment's delay is disobedience. Ouch! And the biggie for me was that if I do what He requires, but I'm kicking and screaming on the inside, then I'm actually being disobedient. Double ouch. I guess somewhere along the way I deceived myself into thinking that as long as I'm doing what He requires then I'm being obedient. I don't have to like it, I just have to do it. He's been showing me in all kinds of ways lately that I really need to be, I guess, more transformed by the renewing of my mind, as we're told in Romans 12:2. So that my HEART is obedient. Sounds like a no-brainer, huh? But there you have it. My loser confession for the week. :)

The beautiful thing, though, is what God showed me Monday as I continued through this battle with Tony. I decided I should try the advice I'd been given in SS, because I've been having some pretty serious behavior problems out of our sweet little 2 yr old. It was suggested that I require him to verbally respond to me when I've given him instruction. I know, that seems like the only logical way to do it now...but I guess we hadn't thought about how powerful it could be. Remember, I'm already known all over the church as the crazy woman who can't control her children, so at this point, who cares if you think I'm dumb, too! :)

So...after about half an hour in time-out and several spankings (sorry if that makes some of you want to have me arrested!), he finally responded to me. The very first time he said, "K, Ma," it was nothing more than a sad, defeated whisper. It nearly broke my heart along with his will. But by bedtime, when I'd instruct him from across the room, he'd walk all the way over to me, get eye to eye, and say with a sweet smile, "Ok, Momma." Each time was a small moment of total bliss and understanding between us! I can't help but think, as I embrace that little guy, how much joy must the Father have when I come to Him with a desire to please and obey, and no matter the instruction I've received, I say with a smile, "Okay, Father." Beautiful. I'm a visual learner, and God knows it! Seriously though, what a beautiful way to teach my heart what my head already knew.

Evil

2007-10-23T09:04:00.000-06:00

Yep, pure evil. That's what it is. What you ask? Well, I'll tell you. It is simply evil to sell grapes advertised as seedless when, in fact, they contain seeds that I must pick out of them before I can send them in my boys' lunches! Evil I tell you!

A Few Sweethearts

2007-09-18T04:34:00.000-06:00

Tony takes a break from his story to cheese it up

for Momma with her camera! :)

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Night night!

How precious are sleeping children?!?

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Ian with Tyler

Ty loves being the "big brother" to all our little ones!

And the little ones love getting his attention!

Wet Chalk = Paint

2007-09-12T10:34:00.000-06:00

And LOTS OF FUN!! Sorry for the mess, Mommas!

But I Don't Wanna!!

2007-09-11T19:43:00.000-06:00

Is that a quote from my 4 yr old or his mother?? Well, there's really no wrong answer here, because Tyler certainly says it often enough. The sad thing, though, is that it's also been my response for quite some time now to my own Abba Father. Not consistently, not at every corner, not to every request or demand He places on my heart...just here and there, just when it's the stuff my humanity holds to the tightest. But just as I want the best for my Ty, God wants the best for me. I can't accept that answer from my son, and my Father won't accept it from me.

I'm a little hung up lately on just how stupid I am. I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I have. I know it. I believe it. Or do I? Really? For some dumb reason I still want to hold onto the hopes and dreams and well...sins, I guess, if you wanna get right down to it...that I think make (or will someday make) me happy. Yep, that's me. I'm trading in my real, honest, nothing compares to it JOY for some form of happy. Hello??!! Why can I sit here and write this and know that it's completely stupid yet walk away and still be suckered into it.

Ugh. I ramble. C. S. Lewis is so much better at this. I've read so much of him that I'm not sure which text this comes from, but it was in my devo last week. Here...my heart, his words:

"When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy. Those divine demands which sound to our natural ears most like those of a despot and least like those of a lover, in fact marshal us where we should want to go if we knew what we wanted.

"He demands our worship, our obedience, our prostration. A man can no more diminish God's gory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word darkness on the walls of his cell.

"But God wills our good, and our good is to love Him. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want. Once more, we are embarrassed by His intolerable compliment to us, by too much love, not too little."

Lord, thank you for not letting me settle. Thank you for being altogether good and determined to fill me with only the best...YOU! Thank you for your unmatched patience as I stumble and whine, "but I don't wanna..." Thank you for your love and grace. And for your voice that calls me back time and time again.

Four Year Old Charm

2007-09-04T19:10:00.000-06:00

My Tyler is full of it! We went for haircuts this evening, and I'd had a kinda rough day so I wasn't totally excited about having to take him out anywhere at all. But he was a total sweetheart. Total. As we were leaving the salon:

Mom: (exhausted) Thanks for being so good tonight. I really appreciate it.

Ty: You're welcome, Mom. It was my pleasure.

Mom: You're so cute. (sigh of relief that the day is coming to an end)

Ty: You sure do look beautiful with your hair all curly and that pretty pink shirt on.

The real beauty of it all--he wasn't buttering me up for anything. He's just that sweet. Sometimes I find it impossible to believe even my husband when he says I'm beautiful. I guess I've just spent so many years calling myself ugly that I actually find it nearly impossible that he could really think I'm anything but. Preschoolers are honest though! May be silly, but he totally made my day. What a great son. What a lucky Mom!

The Strength I Need

2007-09-04T12:10:00.000-06:00

Here's a portion of my devo for today. It encourages me beyond words, so I thought I'd share with you:

from A.B. Simpson (1843-1919), Missionary and pastor...

"A precious secret of the Christian life is to have Jesus dwelling within the heart and conquering things that we never could overcome. It is the only secret of power in a believer's life. People cannot understand it, nor will the world believe it; but it is true. God comes to dwell in us and is the power, the purity, the victory, and the joy of our lives.

This enables us to say with Paul in that beautiful passage in Philippians, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'

With this knowledge I go forth to meet my testings. It keeps me pure and sweet, as I could never keep myself. Christ has met the adversary and defeated him for me. Thanks be unto God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ. What will your day bring?"

Simple, I guess. But true...and what I needed today.

Twinkies

2007-09-03T19:42:00.001-06:00

Tony & Garrett

Happy Labor Day

2007-09-03T18:08:00.000-06:00

What a fun 3 day weekend! What a nice break from the ordinary! Sometimes that's all it takes to feel refreshed, just something out of the usual rut of a routine. A little "extra" time to enjoy some of the people we love most.

That's what we did with our weekend. While some may see the long weekend as a chance to get extra work done, I happen to be really thankful for the chance to use those extra moments just to "be" with some special people...

Friday evening we took the boys and met Steve's parents in the park we always played at when we lived with them in Mt. Juliet. We had some fun times on the playground, took a nice walk, and enjoyed some great conversation. I had the opportunity to learn some things about my father-in-law that I never knew before. It was a blessing to have the chance to just talk to him and Steve's mom, too. I look forward to the next opportunity to get really get to know them better...just as people rather than in-laws, if that makes any sense! :) I guess after almost 6 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to relax and quit worrying about making sure I have their approval. I know that sounds dumb, but I guess I'm just dumb like that. After all, their son and I have created the 2 most adorable boys in the world...how could they NOT love me, right?!

We came home Friday night and watched Arthur (Ty's favorite show for the past 2 1/2 years!), as that's just part of our nightly bedtime routine. Tony actually watched with us for the first time, so that was fun. He talked the entire time, but he sat still. And that was a first, too! That wild child doesn't sit still to watch anything on TV...yeah, yeah, I guess that's good and all, but it sure has always been nice to get that 30 minute break TV could provide when it was just Tyler! Bad Mommy, bad! :)

After we got the boys to bed, Steve and I spent some time playing one of our favorite video games. How romantic, huh? It actually can be, though, cause we played a racing game...and those of you who know me at all know that cars kinda "get my motor runnin." Hehe! Seriously, we had a nice, fun night together! I'm glad we put off doing the things that probably should have been done in order to just enjoy some silly fun together. That's really good for a relationship and so easily squeezed from our busy lives and stressful days.

Amanda and I spent the day out together Saturday. We shopped and had lunch. And periodically called the men to make sure they were being good, as they were wonderful enough to keep the boys with them while we were out. How perfect that we have sons, huh? They get to hang with the daddies while we ladies do girl stuff for the day!! Manda and I had a great time!! We've GOT to make sure we get out alone together more often. We spent the day making fun plans for what is about to become a preschool in my home rather than just kids running around all day. More about that later, though, cause I haven't addressed all my parents yet about the amazing changes in the works!

You can all be in prayer for that, though, for a smooth transition to what I wholehearted hope to create in our home for "my" kids. For now, I'll just say that I've always known I wanted to be a teacher. I've always thought I'd teach highschool or college, but God is continually opening my eyes to the potential I have to be a "real" teacher here and now, where HE has placed me. And to be quite honest, I actually feel like if I can pull this off it might BE my life's work. This may not be the waiting ground. This may be IT! I am sooo excited and will no doubt be talking more about it as it all unfolds! (Believe me, I'm even more shocked than you are...but I do serve a God who can do ANYTHING thru ANYONE!)

Okay, so, the weekend. Saturday night we had dinner at Amanda and Darrell's house. Then Sunday morning they picked us up, and we all went to church together. I got to spend the whole day with my best buddies...and the night, actually. Yep, we played highschool and had a sleepover! How fun! We put the kids to bed and watched scary movies till we couldn't keep our eyes open any longer. We didn't make it to sunrise like we could back in highschool though! Go figure! :) And I sure did need my nice long nap this afternoon. Man, I'm getting old!

Now it's bedtime for the boys again. And the long weekend is winding down. Time to be a responsible adult again. I've got a lot to do tonight to get ready for a new week. Normally at this point I begin to wish I'd spent more time doing the "important" stuff during my weekend so I could relax before it all starts over. But tonight I'm just thankful. I really enjoyed taking the time to nourish all of these important relationships this weekend. I think it was a beautiful way to spend our "extra" time.

Lunch Time

2007-08-31T12:41:00.001-06:00

Hmmm...

Think we're having a little too much fun

in the morning hours? :)

Yee-haw!!

2007-08-31T12:38:00.001-06:00

Oh wait...

2007-08-26T19:49:00.000-06:00

Guys, I totally forgot to tell you THE best part about the DHS story...so if you don't know what I'm talking about read the previous post first!! Trust me, you will NOT appreciate this otherwise!! :)

-------------

Just as the nice little invasive lady ( I know, she was just doing her job or whatever, sorry!) was walking out the door, and I had sufficed her suspicions about us hiding children...my can't-keep-his-mouth-shut-for-half-a-second Tyler says, "Momma, are we gonna keep those other babies?" I just about died. I said, with a look of total disbelief, "WHAT other babies?" I had NO idea what he was talking about, but the chick turned around and gave me this "caught ya" look. Turns out Tyler thought the lady was here asking all these questions because she wanted me to keep HER babies! Oh my gosh! So, needless to say, I probably haven't seen the last of her. I'm expecting a follow-up visit (or 2 or 10) just to be sure we didn't have additional children lined up for care here! Thanks, dear son, for helping Mommy look like a panic stricken liar!

In Hiding

2007-08-26T13:02:00.000-06:00

Guess that's where I've been. I've been a terrible, slacker, loser blogger lately, huh?! So very sorry to the 2 of you who may have noticed. The thing is, my lack of writing has so not been due to a boring existence. Sometimes I wish that were the case! :) Life with kids is never boring though is it?

To be honest I don't think I've actually been able to call myself bored since the day I met Jesus. Does that sound dumb? Maybe to some of you. But it's altogether true. Knowing Christ rearranges every part of a person, and somehow that massive reorganization redirects the impulse of boredom toward thoughts of eternity. Seriously, how could I be bored when I serve an omnipotent, omniscient, completely beyond my bounds of understanding, kind of God? There's so much to ponder!! Not that I've had time lately though. No, once I had kids I was all discombobulated again, and now I have the mind of a Mommy.

My thoughts are now consumed by things like...

What my dear, ummm, creative 4 yr old has decided to wear for the day. As some of you have noticed, the child is in utter denial of the 100+ degree weather. He is determined to wear fleece pants and shirts daily, because they are "soft." And "soft" is all that matters. I have decided, in all my motherly wisdom (haha), that this particular battle is just not one I'm willing to fight. Sooo...when we leave the house, if my kind suggestions have gone unnoticed as they do on most days, Ty heads out in a fleece suit of some kind and Spiderman sandals or flip-flops...because it IS summertime, after all! :)

Unfortunately we've been battling a variety of viral attacks at our house this past week, so I failed to capture a picture of THE outfit. I was too weak/sick/lazy to take the picture! Anyway, I do have to share...one night this week we all ran out to grab some cheap pizza for dinner. We packed Tony up without shoes, and I convinced Steve to just let Ty wear whatever he wanted to since he wouldn't be getting out of the car anyway (which Tyler totally agreed to). Well, we get there, and (of course) Tyler wants to go in with his Daddy. Steve's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he shook his head no. Immediately, the 4 yr old emotions take over, and Ty's whining and his feelings are hurt and all this, right? And I shut my dear, sweet husband up just before he tells him that he looks ridiculous, and I say, "Just let him go. Please don't say a word!" Ty was so proud of his outfit, and he thought he was just adorable. Besides, I was safely hiding in the car! Haha! Now, picture it: Batman PJ shorts-far tighter than the recommended "snug" fit, sleeveless argyle sweater vest, the infamous Spiderman sandals-on the wrong feet, and Daddy's black cowboy hat to finish off the look! Oh, I really should have taken a picture.

Now don't get the impression that I spend tons of time worried about what my preschooler wears. I think I'm pretty easy going about it, and I try to let it amuse rather than worry me. After all, I have bigger things to worry about. For example, our surprise visit (read: totally unexpected, unwarranted search of my entire house!) by some lady from DHS Friday!! Holy cow! Apparently someone reported me for running an illegal childcare business. Nice. It's a good thing there's no way to find out who, cause I'd be tempted to rub a dirty diaper in their face and DARE them to try to spend their days taking care of a houseful of crazy toddlers and be looked upon as illegal while I'm working my tail off to take care of my family, not to mention the youth of 5 others!...and completely legally, by the way!!

I don't know what kind of situations this poor lady has walked into before, or what the heck whoever called told them!! But she was here to prove that I was a liar and hiding children in my house. She checked bathrooms, closets, behind everything she could look behind, trying to find the hidden kids. The whole time I'm telling her the names and ages of everyone I keep and trying (though frazzled!) to convince her that I am not breaking any laws, I've simply decided not to keep enough kids that would require a license. I prefer to keep my sanity rather than increase my enrollment at this point! :)

Soooo...convinced that I wasn't hiding any additional children, she informed me that I will need to supply proof that my niece and nephew are indeed related to me, within 10 days, or I will face a $500 fine. Oh, and then she thanked me for taking such good care of the children in my home. Uhhh, yeah lady, no problem. Thanks for noticing. Anyway, here's hoping I can get my hands on the 6, count 'em, six, necessary birth certificates to accompany my marriage license to prove that my niece and nephew are who I say they are. Sometimes it's more than difficult to adequately remind myself that I'm doing this for good reasons.

And so I hide...myself, not kids!! :)

Seefood

2007-08-03T23:59:00.001-06:00

Tony & Garrett

I often wonder if these two will get themselves in as much trouble together as their mommies did growing up! I think they're off to a fine start! I just pray they are also blessed enough to find in each other the unconditional love and support of a true friend...just as their mommies have.

Feeling the Pressure

2007-08-02T19:50:00.000-06:00

Thank you, those who continue to lovingly nudge me back to blogdom. As silly as it may sound, I NEED this! This is my outlet. It's where I share. It's where I deal. It's my contact with people who are old enough to read! :)

Here's the problem though. I think I'm still stuck somewhere in my last entry. I just can't move on. My heart aches for this guy who has so completely turned his back on the Lord. I'm broken for his family.

...and yet I still cover my ears, ignore my own better judgement, make stupid choices, succumb to laziness and selfish desires. I just want to be more than that. I want to be less so that Christ can be more in me. And I know it's always a struggle to a degree. I get that. We're sinful by nature and all. Maybe I can't explain it. Maybe that's why I haven't written. There's just nothing lovely in me to share right now. I feel like it's taking all my strength just to keep trying to be the woman God desires me to be. Yet I'm not succeeding. Not in any tangible, change the world kind of way. A lot of days I feel like a complete failure in a whole lot of little ways. Like my other identity (the old sinful nature, which really does seem like a whole other me) has won out. Yet I long for more. I can't help but seek God's face. And that's how I know I haven't lost. It's how I know I'm His, and how I gain the strength to try again tomorrow.

Soooo...not the most uplifting way to jump back in, huh? Sorry guys. I'm just really kinda going through a rough spot right now. Your prayers would be much appreciated.

The Unrepentant Heart

2007-07-15T19:02:00.000-06:00

Oh, the grasp that our Enemy can have. Oh, the devastation our own evil human nature can cause. How painful to really see the heart-deadening, Truth-hiding, entirely entangling, numbing effect of sin. Sure, sin is all around us and within us. We must live in a constant state of awareness, of turning from our sin to our Savior. But tonight our church was faced with the serious wreckage of a selfish, unrepentant heart.

I've never before had the unsettling, eye opening experience of participating in our Lord's plan for church discipline in this way. I'll admit, I've even wondered if it really takes place anywhere anymore. The plan I'm referring to is laid out for us in Matthew 18, specifically verses 15-17:

15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

This evening, our church was forced to take that last step with one of our own who has been unrepentantly engaged in a specific sinful behavior for an entire decade. All other steps to call him to repentance had been followed to no avail. He's to be cut off from fellowship (not hated on or treated badly, but rather regarded as an unbeliever) in hopes that the consequences of his sin may lead him to turn back to Christ...and in order to preserve the purity of the Body. Wow.

Tonight I feel amazingly humbled and protected and thankful to know that I belong to a local body that takes accountability and repentance seriously. I also feel overwhelmed with thankfulness for the gift of God's voice in my own life, for the saving grace of His hand on me, for His undeniable call that has fairly recently brought me back from my own dark season of sin and hardness of heart, for His very Spirit in me that is the only reason I could see beyond my own selfish desires enough to long for Him again. I don't know why, but in the darkness I heard Him call my name. It wasn't what I wanted to hear. He wasn't what my evil heart wanted to cling to. Yet His pull on my soul was undeniable and irresistible.

I'm lost tonight in the thought that this unrepentant heart we mourned over tonight could so easily have been my own. This family, destroyed by one person's selfishness, left to pick up the pieces and pray for eventual repentance, could have been my own sweet family. How much further would I have had to walk for God to turn me over to my sin? How many times does He call our name before He lets us suffer the full consequences of our sin without the fellowship of the Body? I have a new awareness tonight of the real and terrible danger of sin in the life of the believer. And a corresponding determination to flee from even the most "harmless" offenses.

Let's not fool ourselves, dear friends. Christ is indeed victorious, but the prince of this world does not merely sit back and sulk in defeat. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (I Peter 5:8) Don't let it be you!

Fat Girl Talk

2007-07-14T22:41:00.000-06:00

Okay, first of all, what the heck is up? Are there not enough fat chicks in Rutherford County? Where did Old Navy's plus size section go? I know I don't get out much, so this may be old news. But I stopped there today and sadly discovered they no longer carry anything I can wear. I wanted to cry. I LOVE Old Navy. Well, I did anyway. :(

On a much, much happier note though, this week I have added to my "wardrobe" 2 pairs of jeans, 3 other pairs of pants, 1 skirt, and at least 3 shirts...from the back of my very own closet!! All things I haven't been able to wear for at least 2 years!! Very exciting! So although the scale is not showing significant weight loss, I am seeing it in various other ways. I am anxiously awaiting the day that I take my hot bod back into Old Navy and celebrate not needing their stupid fat girl section anyway! Haha!

It's That Time Again

2007-07-13T12:02:00.000-06:00

I just can't help myself. I've rearranged my living room AGAIN, and I'm tired of looking at the same old blog every day. So here ya go, it's the latest version of me. I know, I have issues. Whatever.

Weekly Visit With the Scale Monster

2007-07-12T20:12:00.000-06:00

VERY surprisingly, not bad!! Lost 1.8 on my vacation week. Woohoo! It must be all the extra exercise, cause it sure wasn't that I counted points like I should have!! Very exciting though! Our WW session at Lisa's work is almost over. So now I have to decide if I want to pay to keep going or try to do it on my own. I really don't know. I definitely want to keep working at it. That I know for sure!

In other news, watch out for the stomach bug going around! I have no idea where I picked it up, but it's mine at the moment. I should have easily lost more weight in the past 12 hours than in the whole past 2 weeks!! Yeah, it's been that bad. And let me tell you how there's just nothing in the world like your 20-month-old being flat out determined to sit in your lap while you throw up! Give it up for motherhood, I guess. :)

I'm in Love!

2007-07-11T06:27:00.000-06:00

With the man AND the car!!

Last week was my vacation, and we had non-stop fun all week! I really didn't have a single chance to post anything. And it all began with the man of my dreams bringing home the car of my dreams! :) No...we didn't get a new car. Our family car is in need of repairs that we can't afford, so we've been cramming all 4 of us into the truck for quite awhile now. It's not fun, but it's not really that big of a deal either. At least we have something to drive! But it was going to be a problem for vacation, because there's NO room in the cab for luggage with all of us in there. We're lucky we can squeeze the diaper bag in with us! :) We were planning a little getaway for the first weekend of vacation, and there was a chance of rain. We didn't want to travel with our stuff in the bed of the truck, so Steve suggested renting a car for the weekend. I told him if we were going to pay for a car for the weekend that I wanted something big enough that we could take a break from the sardine routine we've gotten accustomed to lately. Then, mostly joking, I suggested we try to find a Dodge Charger (which, remember, is my current dream car!) for a little extra fun, too. And HE DID!!!

Ohhh my gosh, I was soooo excited!! Not just because of the car either. It was probably one of THE sweetest things my hubby has ever done for me. That might sound dumb, but you have to realize that he is soooo not a car guy. He would have been perfectly content with a cheaper, ugly little compact car...you know the kind where your knees practically bonk you in the face when you get in it if you're 6 ft tall like me! The Charger was a very special treat. Surprisingly, it was in the mid range pricing, too, so it wasn't all that bad. The one he found wasn't exactly my dream car. It wasn't the exact model or color, and it only had a 3.5 liter engine...but dang it was fun anyway!!! Steve even went and got it for me that Friday night so I could "play" before we left town on Saturday morning.

I'm sure most of you are probably thinking that I'm a little nuts to be this excited about a car. I know. It's in my blood. Blame it on my Dad!! :) The real point of this post, though, is to express my love and gratitude to my dear husband. He doesn't get it either...the car thing. After he drove it, I said all hyper like, "Do you LOVE it?!" His response: "It's a car."

So thank you, my sweet man, for making my vacation extra special. I love you!

Catching Up

2007-06-29T12:10:00.000-06:00

Dear Blog,
My goodness I have some catching up to do! There's just so much going on this summer. Let's see...

First of all, I am not skipping out on the whole posting my weigh-in results thing. This week was VBS at our church, and Steve took the kids every morning. So I couldn't leave the house to go to my meeting. I would weigh here at home, but we don't have a scale. Well, we have one, but it doesn't work anymore...and NOT because I'm so fat that I broke it, okay?! Next week I can't go weigh either since Wednesday is the 4th. Soooo...I'm going to my sister's to weigh in next week. She knows that her scale is within a pound of the one we use at WW, so it'll be accurate enough to know if I've managed to lose anything or not! I don't know about the numbers, but I really am already starting to feel better. And that's just as important! Oooohh, and yesterday I picked up a pair of shorts off my floor to try on. They were on my floor because a few weeks ago I tried to wear them and couldn't breathe!! So I jerked them off and flung them angrily in the corner. They fit now! And not just barely either. They're almost loose! WoooHoooo!! The stupid scale can just kiss my ever shrinking butt! :)

Secondly, I am counting down the hours till my week of vacation!! That's right. I'm off next week. I am sooooo ready for it, too. I love all these kids, really I do, but dang I'm glad it's break time! We're leaving in the morning for Beech Bend Park in Bowling Green. Never been. I think it'll be a good first amusement park for the kids. Mom and Brianna, and maybe Dad, are meeting us up there Sunday. We'll have another day at the park, then Steve and I get to go out Sunday night. Yipppeeee, date night!! I can't wait! :) So if anyone knows of anything just perfectly romantic in Bowling Green, let us know. I have no idea what we'll do. I just know we won't have kids or a curfew! I'll be sure to take lots of pictures...no, not of our date...of the kids this weekend!! So check back soon for those. Oooh, I almost forgot, we're also going to the Corvette Museum before we leave. Sooo cool! I'm sure I'll have pics of that to post too, crazy car girl that I am and all. :) Then next week we'll mess around here at home and see what fun things we can find to do.

Tuesday is Steve's birthday! So if you happen to talk to him, wish my Honey Pie a happy day and congratulate him for being EVEN OLDER!! Haha! I love being the young one! :) There's more I want to share with you about my lovable man, but I think I'll give him his own post for all that.

Got a postcard in the mail this week about soccer sign-ups for the fall. Tyler's old enough to play soccer. I can't believe that!! Seems like we've been waiting FOREEEEVER for him to be old enough to start sports, and now that it's time I can't decide what to do. So if you have an opinion on kids starting sports at such a young age or what sports you think are best for little ones or if you have advice from your own experience or whatever, please do share!!

Seems like there's so much more I need to tell you. What is it though?? Well, this is long enough. Hopefully there's still someone reading this far down on the page! :) More to come soon...

Dale Hollow

2007-06-26T07:23:00.000-06:00

Here's a quick peek at all the fun we had at Lillydale Campground on Dale Hollow Lake this past weekend. More to come...but aren't these boys just adorable?! This was Tony's first time at a "beach," and he loved it!!
Already planning the next camping trip! :)

I still can't believe we finally got Ty and Tony both to sit still long enough for me to take a quick picture of all my precious guys together!

I'm such a lucky girl!

X = -1.2

2007-06-20T20:38:00.000-06:00

Nope, it's not the answer to a math problem. I HATE math! :) It's the promised posting of today's weigh-in results. I'm down another 1.2 lbs. I gotta say, it's just not coming off as fast this time as it has in the past. I'm a little bit discouraged by the itty bitty numbers I'm seeing each week. My WW group was all too eager to remind me that I'm not 20 anymore...and that our bodies apparently all but freakin' shut down as we get older. Great. Now I'm "getting older" on top of being fat!

I'm mostly kidding. I mean it does suck that I'm losing so slow. The last time I did WW was before I had Tyler, and it was nothing to lose 3-4 lbs a week, especially at first. And I just kind of figured that since I'm WAY fatter this time that I'd lose really fast at first and then it would slow down...you know, like EVERY other time I've ever lost weight!! But dang, if this is the fast part then it'll take my whole life just to be able to shop outside the plus size section!!

Okay, anyway, another week has past, and I'm pressing onward. Maybe I'll do better next time! On a brighter note, thanks for all the encouragement!! I do seriously appreciate it...and clearly need it! :)

When are you gonna get skinny?

2007-06-19T11:25:00.000-06:00

That's what Tyler keeps asking me. Not because he thinks I'm fat and ugly. No, that's just what I think about myself! I don't face pressure to lose weight from anyone I love. They all say I'm beautiful. That's really very nice, but I'm not blind! :) Besides that, I've got to get myself in shape so I can keep up with my boys!!

I've been putting off posting about this, but then I realized that was because I was afraid I'd fail...and then look stupid in front of however many people bother to read this. So no more fear. Here I am. I'm doing Weight Watchers. I weigh in on Wednesdays, and you can expect a weekly post about my success! I've used my dear blog to hold me accountable in other ways, so I'll see how this works for me. I'm hoping that knowing I'm going to post my weekly loss/gain out there for the world to see will keep me motivated!

Okay, so now you know!

Funny Stuff

2007-06-11T20:45:00.000-06:00

Over a decade has passed now since high school, and it seems I'm running into more and more people from the past. It's fun seeing old friends and getting the chance to show off my precious family...and even getting to set some pretty crazy rumors straight, too!

I was just about to load the boys up in the truck this evening after our shopping adventure (seriously, it always is one with my two!!) at Sam's Club when a man approached from across the parking lot. I'd seen him inside, but his identity didn't hit me until I heard his voice say my name. It was an old friend from my high school days. What a pleasant surprise.

So we chatted about what we're up to these days and who we've seen around and who we'd like to see again. I told him marrying an "outsider" probably didn't help me stay in the loop any. And that's when I heard the crazy rumor. (I realize this is only going to be funny to my forever friends out there, but to us it's funny enough to be blog worthy!) Apparently someone out there is telling people that I married Mr. Blue Coast Burrito! How funny is that?! We were friends, and he spent a considerable amount of time messing with my heart, but we never even officially dated...now someone's got us married! Needless to say, I had a really good laugh in the parking lot tonight. Kinda makes me want to take him up on his invite to go see him. You know, show off my dear hubby and adorable boys...see if he's heard the latest about us! LOL!

It's a Love-Hate Relationship

2007-06-11T20:18:00.000-06:00

The relationship between my journal and me, that is. My dear blog has rendered the old journal nearly useless, as I've shared before. However, there are those dark corners of my heart that still long to find their way onto paper. Why is that anyway? Does anyone else out there struggle with that need? Is it just the torment we writer-types face?

I mean, really, why can't I be drawn to put fiction on paper? You know, something that could actually entertain someone. Oooo...something that could earn some bank! Nope, fiction is not for me. Instead I spend two weeks face down in my little pink book only to spend two minutes tonight ripping a 20 page section of myself into tiny jagged squares of nonsense. I slip the random consonants and vowels into the kitchen trashcan, cover the remains with a box from tonight's trip to the grocery, and walk away as if that dark part of me has mysteriously been removed forever. Though never read by another soul, somehow the writing of it was useful.

Beer Review

2007-06-10T19:53:00.000-06:00

First of all...

sorry to all my Baptist buddies out there.

I still don't think there's any sin in enjoying a good drink.

Clearly, since my pastor has the link to my blog! :)

Okay, so having said that, I simply MUST share today's finding with those of you who can drink with a clear conscience. Stopped at the gas station for a bag of ice today, in my 2 hours of kid-free time (which was *sigh* sooo relaxing, by the way). When I have one, my current beer of choice is Michelob Ultra, but today I found some fruity Ultra. I had my doubts about a fruity beer, but I just had to try one. I chose the Tuscan Orange Grapefruit flavor. Just popped the top on one tonight, and let me tell you, it is yummmy! It's just got a hint of fruit flavor, so it's not all super-gag-you-after-a-few-sips sweet like some of the fruity stuff you can buy in a 6-pack. It's like a no-bite light beer, but it has a nice fruity after taste. Alright, so I'm no beer expert, to be quite honest, but I highly recommend this one...you know, if you can drink a beer and not feel like you need to repent. :)

Old Friends

2007-06-08T13:58:00.000-06:00

Wow, I just love to hear from old friends! What a sweet blessing so full of fond, even favorite memories. My friend, Heather, left a comment on my blog yesterday, and it was just so great to "hear her voice."

I love how I never know who might be reading, too. How fun! It's one of those ways my blog holds me accountable to presenting myself as accurately as possible. As some of you know, I spent a whole post on how I'm a total failure at keeping a journal, but somehow this blogging deal works for me.

Anyway, thanks, Heather! And I would LOVE to get together sometime soon. My calendar for June is pretty booked. NOT because I'm super popular or anything. I just keep it that way with the few people who will spend time with me so I don't get lonely! Haha! Plus, with Steve working nights it really limits my kid-free availability. And in case you can't tell from the blog, my boys are absolutely nuts (and super cute and lots of fun, at least from their Mommy's perspective). So if there's any chance you're thinking about having children, I'd hate for you to spend an evening with mine only to find that they become the reason you abandon that idea with much haste!

Sooo...anybody else out there I don't know about? Come on, show yourselves! Leave me a comment! Or if you'd rather, view my profile and you can email me directly from there.

'Cause I Said So

2007-06-07T13:57:00.000-06:00

Oh, how I hated hearing that from my Mom when I was little. I always thought I'd never say that to my kids. Ha! Right! Now I have a 4 yr old!! :) And that kid thinks he deserves an explanation for everything. I just told Ty and Zach to please leave the kitchen. Zach's almost 2 and very sweet (and not mine...that usually is a factor!). He just ran right off into the living room to play. Not Tyler. He stood right there in the doorway..."Why?? I wanna play in here. Whyyy?" Yep, you already know my response: "Cause I said so." Sure, there were real and valid reasons why they shouldn't be in the kitchen playing. But I just didn't think that was one of the moments that he needed to hear the list of them!

Frustrated with me, Tyler turned and left. I paused there in my kitchen and thanked God for a Mom who said that to me on occasion while I was growing up. It wasn't always her answer to me. But I think it's an answer children need to get used to from time to time. I think having to learn that lesson- that sometimes Mom just knew best- has helped me to believe that same truth about God. Unlike the boundaries we place around our children, the things the Lord requires of us often cause real emotional turmoil. It's amazing, though, how we can find comfort in that old familiar answer...and believe, really know, that our Heavenly Father has good and perfect reasons. His boundaries and requirements are always placed on us with His loving hand and for His eternal glory.

Twisted

2007-06-04T19:40:00.000-06:00

Well, if it's not one mom it's the other! Steve's Mom ended up in the hospital this afternoon for emergency surgery to fix her "twisted colon." Just heard from Steve, and everything went well. She's in recovery now. Please pray for a swift and full return to normal! I really have no idea if there are complications associated with this kind of procedure or anything. I'd never heard of a twisted colon until this afternoon. Steve did say she'd be in the hospital for a week though. So just pray everything heals properly...and that she doesn't go crazy being in the hospital!

On a lighter note, I just have to share this. Those of you who know Tyler at all know how he just doesn't miss anything. So he was all concerned about his Grandma this afternoon, and he sat in my lap while I looked up info online (he was hoping to find a picture of a twisted colon so he'd know exactly what was wrong!). Well, right before bed tonight, he was sitting with me again. He got this painful look on his face and put his hand up on his head like we've all done when we've had a headache. And he said, "Man, I think my head is twisted." It took me a second, but I made the connection! :)

Fun with Friends

2007-06-03T17:13:00.000-06:00

We had a blast yesterday at our first summer swim and cookout of the year with our friends, the Wallings. Hopefully the first of many this summer!! :) Tyler has been counting down the days for this, and he had sooo much fun. He's grown so much that he can stand up in the pool this year! He's even big enough to be in the water all by himself, which he was very happy to hear when it was time for us to get out and get dinner ready. Check him out...

Tony and Garrett weren't all about the water, but it was a little chilly without much sunshine out yesterday. I think if it were warmer Tony might have stayed in longer. He was just shivering! Garrett, on the other hand, may just not be all about this swimming thing. Maybe next time, big guy!

Here are the little buddies hanging out after their pool adventure...

and with Amanda...

Here's Darrell lighting the tiki torches (after a couple glasses of "crazy juice.")

And here's me while Darrell is playing with fire!

...or maybe that's just the face I make when my sweet hubby keeps taking pictures of me in my swimsuit! :) Notice I was nice enough to not pay him back by taking his! Ha! I didn't even pick up the camera yesterday. Guess I was having too much fun. Steve really was there, even though the pictures don't prove it! And he's such a huge help with the boys that I can't imagine even trying to do something like that without him. Man, I'm so spoiled! :)

Thanks, Manda and Darrell, for a wonderful time. We love you guys!

Love

2007-05-30T21:03:00.000-06:00

What a beautiful gift, to love and be loved. So strong, yet so fragile. So gentle and tender, but at the same time overflowing with intensity. So comforting, and so potentially heartbreaking. So completely satisfying, yet always leaving a hunger for more.

I'm thankful today for the love that I have the opportunity to give, abounding with gratitude for the love I'm given. Yearning, though, for the day I'll know Love face to face. Love Himself. Longing for the day I'll be made perfect in Christ and dwell perfectly in His fellowship. The glimmers of completion He allows us here on earth are so beautiful. We fill gaps in each other with our love, but we're never complete. Not really. Not here. Just imagine though!

Death, Not Success

2007-05-30T06:30:00.000-06:00

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
- John 12:24

The goal of the Christian life is death, not success.
..................................................................

That was the verse and first line of the devotional I read this morning. It weighs heavy on my heart as I think of how selfish I am. I don't face a desire for success in the way a lot of you do. I don't work outside the home, so it's not that I'm striving for success through recognition or wealth. But I have to learn to die to myself in other ways that you may not face. They are personal and painful ways, and sharing the details wouldn't uplift you in any way that I can think of. So I'll be transparent in the pain and struggle rather than in the issues themselves.

I think the success I long for is way too selfish. It's the kind that makes me feel good. It's self-serving. It's not worth anything at all when I line it up with the cross. I have the opportunity today, just like every day, to let that longing die. What matters most to me? Am I willing to lay everything at His feet? To let it all go? To seek my own death rather than my selfish fulfillment? Man, that's hard. I think it's harder for me these days than it has been in a long, long time. Thankfully, I'm also more equipped for it than ever before.

He knows what our struggles are. He gives us everything we need in order to choose death. He IS everything we need to make right choices. He is worth the painful, daily realignment of our hearts. Christ gave His life for us, for the glory of His Father. What are we willing to sacrifice?

Down in Mississippi

2007-05-29T14:43:00.000-06:00

Hey ya'll! Hope everyone had a fun Memorial Day weekend. We enjoyed some time in our southern roots down in Petal, MS. It was wonderful to see my family!! The boys were great on the trip, and Steve and I actually got a little bit of alone time, too. You can't beat that! Soooo glad he got to go with us this time!

Alabama Welcome Center

The boys check out the rocket! Very cool!

Steve and I took turns driving

while my Mom entertained the boys in the back of the Freestyle.

It was a very nice drive!
Here we are in Alabama.

Tyler helped make Mamaw's famous mac & cheese.

Yuuuummy! Good job, Ty!!

Steve and I got out for a late night date Sunday after the boys went to bed. Dad let us take his Mustang...so of course I did all the driving! Sweeeet! :)

Can't wait for our next visit down south!!

Hopefully we'll get to stay longer next time.

Your God Is Too Small

2007-05-25T23:24:00.000-06:00

There's a church down the road with a sign out front that reads something like this:

"Write your plans in pencil. Then give God the eraser."

Now that's really cute and all. I think I can pull out a small chunk of truth from it. I understand that we need to submit our plans, our agendas, our lives to Him. I don't want to make light of the fact that we have that responsibility. We'll be held accountable for seriously living under His Lordship. I get that.

But I just have to testify that the God I serve is soooo much bigger than that. I can take a Sharpie to my planner and put that good smellin', permanent ink all over it, and my Lord can change it. He can reword it, rework it, reassign it. He can shred it. He can toss it. And He doesn't need anything from me in order to make that happen.

Sure, I can choose when and where I want to meet a friend for lunch. I can fill my life with all kinds of activities...or not. And I think we do need to realize that God is in those details as well. But still, He doesn't need my eraser. There's nothing in the world that changes my own selfish plans like Jesus does. There's no eraser I can offer that compares to that of His blood which covers me. It's His forgiveness of sin, His love, His holiness that changes the plans of my heart. All I have to do is accept it, be blanketed and changed by it. And even that acceptance is not something I give out of a goodness within myself. It's brought forth by His own grace.

And how thankful I am that it does not depend on me! I was bought with a price, and I am forever His. I can "hand him the eraser" or I can hide it in my own pocket, but either way my God will do as He pleases and bring glory to His name. He's not my assistant or my appointment setter. And though I strive to give it to Him, He doesn't need my full cooperation. He's God! Almighty. Omniscient. Omnipotent. God!

Great Song

2007-05-24T13:13:00.000-06:00

Tyler has decided that he's an Alan Jackson fan now.

He really likes his song, "Don't Rock the Juice Box!"

Next time you listen, that's what you'll hear, too!

I love my kiddo!! :)

Camping is Fun!!

2007-05-21T09:34:00.000-06:00

Check out my hot Hubby with is new little gas grill. He was sooo excited about his grill. He's so adorable. And I just love his scruffy camping look with a ball cap.

I really am a lucky girl. He's the best!

Okay, moving on before I make you all sick with my mushy talk. Sorry, just couldn't help it! :)

Here's my Honey and Darrell putting up our tents.

Neither of them (the tents that is)

fell on top of us during the night,

so I guess they know what they're doing after all! :)

It was great to have Amanda and Darrell join us for our camping trip. It's been awhile since our 2 families have been able to enjoy each other like we did that weekend. We all had a wonderful time together. We didn't get much sleep, but we didn't really plan on much of that, so that's okay. A bright campfire, perfect weather, really cold beer, and best friends...can't think of a better way to enjoy a night! Oh, and kids that are old enough to actually sleep at night when we camp. That was certainly part of the equation!

A and D's little guy, Garrett, is Tony's age. Those two are good little buddies, so they kept each other pretty entertained. We discovered the perfect camping "play pen," too, for those times when the kiddos wanted to wander away...

Yep, we'd just stick those monkeys in the bed of the truck. Worked great!

Apparently I was too busy to take many pictures that weekend. I'm a little disappointed about that. Oh well. My parents got Tyler a new Spiderman bike, so he was on it nearly the entire time. And we were soooo lucky to have neighbors with a 5 yr old son!! Tyler and his new friend, Nick, kept each other happy and rode their bikes together. That was really nice. Ty's just so non-stop we were having trouble keeping up with him...and the poor child simply can't stand to do anything alone (yeah, yeah, he's like his Mommy, whatever!). Anyway, Nick's Mom actually took a super cute picture of our boys together and printed it for us there at camp. My scanner's down though, so I can't share that one.

We had a perfect first camping trip for the season! We've got to get our next one on the calendar here very soon. We've got several campgrounds we would like to try out this year. If you have a favorite place to camp, let me know! I'd love to add it to our list!!

Time For a Change

2007-05-16T14:22:00.000-06:00

Here's random fact #8 about me...I can't stand for things to stay the same for too long. I guess I get bored. I'm one of those people who is constantly rearranging my furniture and thinking of new things to do with old stuff around the house. So, here's my "new" blog. What do you think? Perhaps it was inspired by the lime green Charger?? Not sure. But I think I needed a brighter view for awhile.

Here's my Charger

2007-05-16T09:10:00.000-06:00

Ty and I decided on the Sublime Metallic Daytona R/T. Yep, for real. It's what I'd drive if I could. Tyler said, "Oh, Mom, can we pleeeeaaase get it??" Right, kiddo! Keep dreaming. Maybe one day YOU can get one and drive Mommy around in it! :)

And now for the tag...

2007-05-15T06:47:00.000-06:00

Alright, so how many times have I been tagged now?! I don't know! And there's nobody left to tag, so I'm going to have to join you rule breakers and just share with you my 7 random facts. Here we go...

1. My freshman year at LHS, I marched with a flute in the band. That's right, I marched with one. I could play the flute (not amazingly, but I could play it), or I could march...but there was no way this uncoordinated chick could do both at the same time!! So I played the flute during concert season, and I totally pretended during marching season!

2. My junior year at LHS, I was on the soccer team. Yep, again, notice the wording. I didn't so much PLAY soccer; I was just on the team! Okay, so I'm not an athlete or a musician...but I'd love to be both! :)

3. Speaking of musicians, one thing I can't resist is a guy with a guitar. This has been true of me for years. Something about a guy with a guitar is just ultra sexy to me!! And if he can sing, too, whew, I better just leave the room! Haha!

4. I'm an ice cruncher. I love to eat ice. It's a habit I guess (and Steve would say a highly annoying one at that!).

5. I have a hard time with the ending of things. I don't know what my deal is. I just get emotional, and not just when it's the end of good stuff either. Even when things that make me miserable come to an end, I get all nostalgic and "sad-like."

6. Years ago, I actually debated flying to CA to meet a guy I'd been talking to over the internet/phone. Yep, I'm serious. If I only had the guts I could be living it up in San Fransisco today...or maybe he would have turned out to be an ax murderer, ya never know! This time I'm thankful to be a scaredy cat. I have my sweet Steve and my precious boys!

7. If I had the cash flow, I'd be driving a Dodge Charger. A Hemi at that! I know, it's not practical or whatever. But, you guys, I am a car girl at heart. Seriously. I denied it for years, but it's in my blood. It's an Isbell thing, and I've decided to embrace it! Haha! To be honest, I've even wished that I had spent some time under the hood with my Dad growing up. I don't know if I have the brain for it, but I actually think it would be fun to know how to work on a car. One of my best friends is fixing up a Corvette with his Dad, and I can't wait till they get that engine in and I can get my hands on that thing! Go ahead and laugh! :)

I know, I know!!

2007-05-11T20:07:00.000-06:00

I know I've been tagged, and there's probably an unwritten rule on how I really shouldn't post anything else until I give you my useless information...but, ugh, I'm just too tired to think guys! Seriously. I can't even think of a good enough #1 that would make you read on to #2! How sad! I am absolutely loving the chance to read all of yours though, and I proooomise I'll get mine up. Even though they'll be nobody left to tag!

But right now I have to pack. We're taking Tyler camping tomorrow night for part of his birthday fun!! We're all really excited. Last time we camped was October, so Tony wasn't walking yet. I think it'll be a lot more fun this time! I'll put pictures up next week.

I have a TON of pictures I've been wanting to post, and it's all stuff that would be sooo much better with pictures that I don't want to just write about it. So I will have to remember to get the dang pictures off the camera so I can share them!

So to anyone still reading my blog, much blogger love and happy weekending! Look forward to 7 random facts about me in the very near future! :)

Hide & Seek

2007-05-06T15:55:00.000-06:00

It's a game you'll never win if you're hiding from God. Guaranteed! I just praise Him for that wonderful and comforting Truth today!!

"Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?"

--Psalm 139:7

Psalm 139 is really too long to paste in the middle of a post here, but if you're not intimately aware of the context of the verse above, I encourage you to spend some time reading that chapter today...especially if you've ever found yourself playing hide and seek with the Lord.

We had our membership interview with several of the elders at CBC this morning. It turned out to be not nearly as pleasant as I'd hoped! God kept tugging at my heart and causing words to flow from my mouth that I, personally, could have done without sharing. At the same time, it was incredibly freeing to officially take off my "good little Christian" hat and just be real. It was less than comfortable, and I'm sure those dear men all feel like Steve got the raw end of the deal by marrying this outrageous sinner...and they may be quite right. Despite my honesty, they are welcoming us back into the local Body of Christ at CBC, and I am thankful beyond words to be there.

In case you haven't noticed lately, He is calling me to a life of transparency that is often painful and sometimes downright embarrassing. To be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure I like the call. BUT, I am so incredibly overwhelmed by His grace at this moment in my life, that I cannot help but share with you that He is One who calls me from darkness into light. If all I ever write to you is light, if all I shared with the elders was His light in my life, I would be withholding the glory due His name! I am a fallen human being, and it is only by His grace that I can display any amount of light or joy or goodness.

Light is so much brighter when contrasted with darkness! And, friends, He has allowed me to walk in darkness in lots of way. You know what though? I couldn't hide there! I am His! Once His, always, always His. He let me walk so far, and then He called my name. I believe we can see that on a smaller, day to day, scale as well. As we are tempted, as we stick out our big toe and test the waters of sin, our gracious and loving Father calls to us. He wipes our dirty toe clean and helps us to shine for Him again.

I praise Him today because I cannot hide from His presence. There is no darkness that I can fall into that can permanently keep me from His loving arms. I am thankful for a church body that believes in the power of His grace enough to let me be ugly and real and still open their heart of fellowship to me.

We Are His Children

2007-05-03T19:45:00.000-06:00

I've been a mom for four years now, and with the birth of my tiny, beautiful, completely helpless infant came a reality of new depth and amazing clarity concerning my relationship with the Lord, my Father. When Tyler was born, I suddenly understood how much I was loved. I saw, with brilliant wonder, the love my own earthly parents have for me and have shown me over and over and over through the years. I remember being so thankful for coming from an unconditionally loving family. But that's not the love that continues to stop me wide-eyed in my tracks. Only Love Himself can do that to me. And He does. He does it often these days. And for that, I can't begin to express my thanks. I simply give Him praise and hope that puts a smile on my Father's face.

This new understanding of love was really just the beginning. I'm consistently surprised, and pleasantly so, by all the ways God teaches me, and shapes me, and even disciplines me through my own kids. I have so many "important grown-up things" to do that I have a hard time getting around to the eternal ones. All too often I get so caught up in ME that I don't think about how God could use me to give Himself glory in the lives of others. I want the love! I want the glory! I want to guide the conversation! I have my own problems to solve! No, of course that's not what's really at the core of my heart. I belong to the Lord. If you could dissect my spiritual heart, you'd find Jesus. But I sure don't live every moment like that's the case.

Now I'm not saying my 4 yr old expresses selfless living in every moment of breath either (all you moms, give me an "AMEN!"), but God has really used him to remind me of what's important, to show me how to live. I just thought I was learning a lot from him in years past, but now it's a whole new ballgame. My child is a believer! He knows Jesus! Wow!! Having come to Christ as a teen, it just blows my mind that my preschooler can tell me about sin, salvation, and redemption. He may not use the bigger words, but he gets it! And a lot of times he gets it in ways that I fail to remember it. I pray his heart truly does belong to Jesus, cause I am living proof that once you're His there's absolutely no turning back. All I know for sure is that his foundation now is stronger than mine was when I accepted Christ as a teen.

Here's one tiny example of how God has communicated straight from Tyler's heart to my own...Ty's been invited for the first time ever to spend the night at a friend's house. He is sooooo excited!! It's ALL I've heard about since the idea came up a couple of weeks ago. Finally it's time, tomorrow night. He's completely excited about every little detail of this new adventure, but you'll never guess (or I wouldn't have anyway!) what he said tonight. Right in the middle of one of his "tomorrow night, tomorrow night, wooohoo" rambles, he said, "Hey, Mom, I'm going to tell Kevin about Jesus!" Wow! I know, he's 4, and he may not actually do it. It may not cross his mind again at all. But when he thought of all the great things he could share with his new friend, Jesus was one of them. (BTW, I do happen to know that Kevin has the opportunity of seeing the message of the cross lived out in his home on a daily basis, and I couldn't have hand picked a better place for Tyler's first sleepover!)

Those details aside, His message was clear to me tonight. We share so many things with our friends, but how often we put off sharing the most important thing! Or we make assumptions that they already know. Or we choose to associate with people that we're sure know so we don't even have to go there. God is making Himself known more and more in the life of my family, and I pray that just as He has grown the desire in us, He'll also grow our capacity to live in a way that reflects His glory and holiness. I pray we'll shine, and I pray we won't dim down His glory just because people we love don't want to see it. We are His children. I love to hear that my boys look like me. How it must please my Father when others look at me and see the resemblance!

Jehovah-Jireh Indeed!!

2007-04-27T06:48:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been so amazed with the Lord that it completely exceeds words? Though consistently struggling in a lot of ways, that's where I've been lately. My heart is so full, and I am so grateful. I haven't written because I know I can't explain it. I can't possibly give Him the glory He deserves. What a poor excuse, huh? As if any of us can adequately display the glory of a holy and righteous God!

I want to share with you some of the ways God has provided for my family in the past couple of weeks. I've openly shared our financial problems and my struggle with giving back to God (I know, it's His already!) the tithe that He requires. From the depths of my selfish heart, I sincerely thank each of you who took the time to comment and encourage me on that tithing post. Partly because of you, I can say today that thus far we've been faithful to consistently give back a portion of the income He's entrusted us with since then. And you guys, the blessings have been innumerable!! Some have been financial and some have not, but they have all proven to be "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think."

I long to write emotionally about each of these blessings, but my dear friends, those of you who really know me, know that I would be writing for days on end! So I've decided to share with you in a list type format (I know, thank me later!) the following ways that God and His people have filled me to overflowing with awe and thanksgiving in just the past couple of weeks...

1. I received THE coolest thing in the mail that I think I have ever gotten! It was an encouraging card from an anonymous friend filled with the hope of our Lord and a gift card to Wal-Mart. Hellloooo?? If you are reading this, THANK YOU! I don't think I've felt that happily surprised since I got my first pair of black patent leather shoes as a little girl (yes, I'm still a shoe fanatic!). I can also say that you have individually contributed to my family in a way that I promise you will have a lasting impact. What you gave me was another link in my ever strengthening chain of faith. Wow! May God bless you abundantly for your concern and generosity to this Sister in Christ, and I believe He will!

2. Many of you know that we've been back at Community Bible Church since January. It's where Steve and I were married 5 years ago, and it's the place that God has used over and over in my life to draw me to Himself and cause me to connect with Him in serious, life changing ways. (This is not a slap in the face of FBC by any means. That's a whole different story that I'll have to save for another night!!) Aaaanyway, we got a call from church and were told that another anonymous someone had left a check for us for $150!!! Now, I don't care who you are or how much money you have, that's a nice chunk of change to just anonymously give. If there is any chance that dear spirit is reading, THANK YOU from the bottom of my faith-filled heart...thank you for helping to fill me! Again, a gift that will last much longer than money. Blessings to you, heaps and heaps! (By the way, $150 was nearly the exact amount of tithe we'd given at that point.)

3. Our church has also offered to help us financially, and we have gratefully accepted. Did you get that? Our church offered. We didn't have to ask or apply or request or give them a copy of our budget or prove our crisis. We're not even officially back as members yet, and our local Body is stepping up to help meet our needs! Links, links, and more links on my chain of faith!!

4. Steve received one week of unemployment pay (my gooooodness, if you've ever had to go thru that then you know it's nothing short of a miracle...forget that he was actually out of work for two weeks!).

5. God's grown our childcare family by 2 (both absolutely adorable and pictured in other posts already).

6. We owe my parents about a million dollars. Okay, not really, but it feels like that! They have been more than patient with us, and I can't begin to express my gratitude for that! They are constantly helping out in little ways, too, that I hope they know do NOT go unnoticed. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for living out what you believe.

7. Steve's parents are nothing short of wonderful! I think the greatest gift they've given us in the very recent past was babysitting. We were able to enjoy a (late!) night out together. If you've been through financial struggles, then you know how quickly it can wear on a relationship. I love the ways that God is providing the opportunity for strengthening our marriage through this! Thank you, Teri and Albert, for allowing us to take the time out to be the calm for each other in the midst of this storm. Another gift that goes a loooong way!

8. That night out was also, in a lot of ways, a reunion with some very, very dear friends of ours. I love you both, and I'm forever grateful for the amazing grace that covers us, even binds us together.

9. A personal struggle of mine seems to be falling further and further from my heart as I grow in faith and trust in the One who made me, knows me like no other, and has the ability to fill me in every possible way.

10. GNO with my sister, Lisa! Wooohoo! I soooo needed that. Still reaping the benefits of this one, too! ;)

11. I was able to do some work for a dear teacher friend, and she was able to help me financially. Every time I get to dabble in her world I can't help but wonder if I'll ever get to teach. Aside from earning some extra money, I fully enjoyed shutting the world out for a few hours and playing school! As if that weren't enough, our brief chats were like water to my soul. You know I love you, and I'm grateful for every moment our paths cross.

12. I can FEEL the prayers of His people! There are those who've always prayed for my family and always will. Your reward is in heaven, and my love goes out to you always! In addition, my recent struggles have led me to talk to a few different people that I haven't really had the opportunity to be close to, and I have been blessed beyond words. Thank you for taking the time to walk alongside a lonely sheep.

13. Steve has a job now. It's not a "WOOHOOO" kind a job, but it's a job. He's back at Ingram, in the warehouse where we met 7 years ago. What's funny is that I think, in some ways, we're spiritually back there too. I don't mean we haven't grown since then...far from it! But we're back at CBC, and we're back in a position of what feels like accelerated growth. And, though completely exhausted, I am bubbling over excited about it?! Can you tell? :)

Well, I numbered them in the list format I promised, but I don't think it shortened me by much. Thanks for reading! I am so completely full of God's blessings right now that I could probably continue the list through the early morning hours, but I'd really like to be awake enough to give Him the praise He deserves in the morning. So I need to wrap this up. If I believed in luck, 13 would be my lucky number, so I'll end with that...

Lord, when you provide for your children you leave us lacking nothing. I am so thankful for the loss of Steve's job, so thankful for the circumstance that required total dependence on You! You are so faithful, so good, so loving. You are the healer of my broken, sinful heart, and as I've turned my pain over to you this month I've literally watched you put food in the mouths of my babies. Through the Church, Your Body, I've been held by Your arms, comforted and encouraged by Your words, and brightened by Your joy. I'm amazed, I'm excited. I can't wait to see where you take me from here. I commit to you, and before all who read these words, I'm Yours, I'm going with You, I'm fully accepting whatever you bring my way...for Your glory, Lord!

Praise Him For Today

2007-04-25T20:08:00.000-06:00

Today

I've been

puked on, peed on,

kissed on, and hugged on.

I've been

screamed at, cried at,

smiled at, and laughed at.

I've been

the cause, the culprit,

the desire, and the fulfillment.

I've been

a janitor, a chef,

a chauffer, and a mechanic.

I've been

a preacher , a teacher,

a mother, a friend, and a lover.

Tonight

I am

used up, exhausted,

satisfied, and grateful.

Men

2007-04-19T19:42:00.000-06:00

Let me just get this out... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Okay, I feel better now.

At Least We Have Each Other

2007-04-17T11:45:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this post isn't really about Zach and Brianna. It is about friends though, and I think these two friends are absolutely adorable!

I was having a really rough day yesterday. All the stress of financial things (and other stupid things) was getting to me, and for some unknown reason I had a house FULL of cry babies. I don't know what the deal was, but the kiddos just weren't happy yesterday at all. Busy weekends or something, I guess, I don't know!

Aren't friends just a wonderful cure to the grumpies though? My dear friend Christy came with her little ones for a surprise visit yesterday, and really, just seeing her made my whole day better!! And getting to fiiiiinally play with Maddie again kept a smile on Tyler's face for quite some time as well. He was delighted to find that Radlee is a "big boy" now, too, so he got to see TWO friends. I wish I'd thought to take some pictures yesterday (of the kids, not of me!!), but things were so crazy around here that it never even crossed my mind.

Anyway, I just wanted to send out a great big THANKS to all my friends!! I know that I can be bad (okay, really bad) about isolating myself at times, especially since I'm stuck at home alone with kids all day, but to those of you out there who've loved me anyway, stuck by me anyway, kept on talking to me anyway, thank you from the depths of my heart. I pray God will shower you with blessings, for I'm sure your kindness never goes unnoticed by the One who matters most.

Another Prayer Request

2007-04-14T08:54:00.000-06:00

For the family of Rachel Olerud, a 12 yr old who lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I've never met this family, but my heart is completely broken for them. I know a lot of you attend FBC and are already praying, but I wanted to put this out there so others can join us. No such thing as too much prayer!!

You can read Rachel's story at www.caringbridge.org/visit/rachelolerud.

Please pray

2007-04-13T19:18:00.000-06:00

To all of those who believe in the power of prayer, please join with me to pray for my Mamaw (my Mom's mom). She's been recovering from hip surgery, and I found out tonight that she's had to go back to the hospital for an additional surgery due to an infection from the first operation. Apparently it was pretty bad, and they are looking at possibly having to go in aaaagain to clean it out. They don't yet have the results from the culture on the infection, so the seriousness of that part is still up in the air.

She's in Mississippi (with most of our extended family on Mom's side), so also please pray that Mom will have peace in making the decision of whether or not (or when) she should travel back down there.

Thank you!!

Hey you

2007-04-12T18:05:00.000-06:00

Yeah, you! I've got some cute pictures to share with you!

Here's a good example of the difference between a girl and a boy...

My one year olds are so much fun! They're so dramatic and silly!

And my nearly 4 yr old is so incredibly moody! I love our moments of drama and silliness. We do still have those, too. But he's just so hung up on being a "big boy." He's so stinkin' smart, and I love that about him!! He has even less patience than my little ones though, and I miss being able to take as many pictures of him as I want to! Now he makes it pretty clear when he's over it...in case you didn't notice! :)

Another Devotional to Share

2007-04-11T08:23:00.000-06:00

Yep, it's Os Hillman again. If you can stand a quick self-evaluation, take a minute to read...

I have noticed three distinct types of believers throughout my 24 years of walking with Christ. First, many of us come to Christ out of a need for salvation. Our hearts have been touched by His call on our lives. We reason and analyze the claims of Christ and make a decision for Him. It is the convenient time to accept Him in our lives. This first stage is often characterized by a "Bless me, Lord" attitude toward God. It is the first stage that primarily brings salvation into our lives. Some never really go past this first stage.

The second stage is the crisis stage. A crisis takes place in our lives, and we are motivated to seek Christ with a whole heart. However, this motivation is not out of pure love for Christ; rather, it is motivated by the desire to get out of the pain of living. The motivation is to solve "the what" versus "the why" in my life at the time. This stage is best characterized as "Help me, Lord."

In the third stage we begin to experience the gospel of the Kingdom. It is the place where Jesus resided in His walk with His heavenly Father. It is the place of conviction. The number of people who live at this level are quite few, but these people are experiencing the reality of a walk with God that is foreign to all others. They are seeing daily occurrences of His involvement in their lives. They are motivated by a deep love for Him. They know Him. These people have an attitude characterized by these thoughts, "Have me, Lord; though He slay me, still will I trust Him."

Where are you today? Have you merely accepted His salvation to simply float along? Or do you seek Him with a whole heart only when a crisis occurs? His desire is for you and me to live a life of conviction, motivated by our love for Him and His love for us. This is where we will experience the gospel of the Kingdom.
__________________

You guys, I can't tell you how excited I am to be in the third stage today! I can't even begin to post on a blog the kinds of pain He has me in at the moment, but I can share with you that each and every way my heart is aching is continuously bringing me closer to the One who made me. Am I tired of the pain? You bet I am! But am I asking Him to take it away? Not anymore, and I mean that. If it takes pain to know Him, to see His hand the way I've been seeing it, then bring it on! Do you know the Lord like that? Do you count all else loss? Cleeeeaarly I'm not perfectly 100% devoted, ever. I know that. I'm still just a person with a sinful, evil, human heart. But seriously, friends, I love Him like I've never loved Him today, at this moment, in this season of my life...because I know Him like I've never known Him. Have you taken the time to know Him? Have you fallen in love with our Savior?

We've Got Another Cutie!!

2007-04-10T19:45:00.000-06:00

How cute is he? Well, the first day he stayed with us, Tyler called him "the cutest baby eeeeever!" I told Ty he wasn't allowed to say that another baby is cuter than his very own baby brother!! :) I'll admit, Nathan's a doll though. I was a little nervous about taking on another baby, but God has blessed us once again with a child who has completely stolen my heart. Nathan is just adorable, and he has got to be the most predictable little one I've ever known! He's not full of patience, and he'll let you know when he needs something...but he's so easy to figure out that it's just no problem! Love it!

I've actually known Nathan's Daddy for a long time. He's the cousin of my forever friend, Amanda. Gotta say, though, it's his Mommy I see in this little guy all day. He and his Mom, Cortney, both have the absolute best smiles I think I've ever seen! I'll have to post one of Nathan's big grins when I catch one. He just figured out how to crawl, so he spends most of his day face down truckin' around on his hands and knees. Hopefully he'll soon find that the world is much more interesting if you keep your noggin up and look around as you travel! Helps you avoid running right into walls, too...well, it helps most people. I still tend to have that problem myself on occasion! :)

How Sweet

2007-04-10T12:05:00.000-06:00

Here's Tyler with his new little "brother" Ian.

He's a big helper! :)

Doesn't he just look like trouble?

2007-04-09T09:36:00.000-06:00

He's sneaky and defiant...and currently this Mommy's greatest challenge!! And it doesn't help that I apparently have less than half a brain! Well, less than a third of one yesterday. With 3 normally intelligent adults in the very same room, Tony managed to celebrate Easter by slicing his chubby little baby hand open on a metal trash can!!! Hellloooo?! I know, what kind of mother (or other 2 nameless relatives!) lets her kid play with a metal trash can?! Please don't report me! I'm pretty sure it was one of those popcorn tins you get at Christmastime turned trash can. Anyhow, he was pushing it around and fell. The dumb thing popped apart at the seam and sliced him right open. There was blood. I'm not good with blood. Not when it's coming out of my child! And it was enough to drip all over the floor as Steve carried him to the sink so my Dad could cover it with something. Blood. Dripping blood. Blood soaking quickly through the paper towels. I was freaked! Poor little man. I said, "It's okay, Tony. It's okay...OH NO, Daaaaad, it's so NOT okay!!" Yeah, I'm sure I was helping my child feel way better about the situation!

Sooo...we spent a couple of hours at the ER yesterday, without insurance on top of that! Thank God, though, it didn't do any serious damage to his hand. They decided not even to stitch it. They put the medical glue and steri strips on it, and we were on our way. Of course, that has to stay dry and not picked at for 3 days...thus the big club of a bandage we've got him wrapped in!

This is the part of having little boys that's really going to mess with this Mommy. It's not the blood itself that freaks me out. I know some people are like that. But for me, it's the terror that something seriously bad has just happened to my precious baby!

Unfortunately we haven't even paid the bill from Vanderbilt for Tony's last hospital visit, and now we've got another to add to our stack. I'm still so relieved and thankful that it wasn't anything worse, though, that I haven't really bothered to think about that too much yet!!

Financial Dilemma. Please Help...

2007-04-06T16:58:00.000-06:00

Don't worry, I'm not posting a request for your money! :) I just need your advice...please! This may show my sad, failing faith in our ever faithful and gracious Lord, and I'm aware that I'm putting my ugly self out there for you to know and judge.

Having said that, here's the problem: if you've been reading this blog then you know we're in a desperate financial situation. And if you know us personally then you know we've been here more times than I feel like talking about, so you also know that we have NO savings to pull from. Here's the cool part...God has provided just enough money to pay the 3 things that HAVE to be paid this week and still buy milk and bread (don't worry, all my parents out there, I have enough groceries around here to adequately feed your children next week!!). If I pay those three things and buy just milk and bread, the money for the week is completely gone.

Notice what wasn't in the list? Yep, tithe. Soooo, there's my question. What would you do? Tithe and trust God will provide from some unexpected place in the coming week? Or thank Him whole-heartedly for providing for our needs, pay the bills, and see what happens next week.

By the way, I don't think I posted about it, but Steve did get a job. He started this week. It's a warehouse, lousy pay job, but it's a job.

Anyway, please be honest and leave us your thoughts. Thanks!!

Making a Fashion Statement

2007-04-05T12:47:00.000-06:00

Uh? Who's that?

2007-04-05T03:59:00.000-06:00

Brianna awoke from her nap to find a stranger in our house!

He's the newest little addition to our childcare family, Ian Paul Buckley!! Isn't he just adorable?! Ian's big brother, Zach, is my oldest (after Tyler), and he's teaching all the kiddos how to say "baby." The Buckleys are one of the sweetest families I've ever met. I'm really lucky to have their boys here with us! And Tyler is sooo excited about Ian. It's like he's getting to be a new big brother all over again. Have I mentioned that I LOVE my job? I'm so thankful that God has given me this opportunity...and filled my heart with Himself enough to make me realize what a huge blessing it is to have all these children in my life!

Have you been crucified?

2007-03-31T16:03:00.000-06:00

I have. Perhaps you have, too. "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." ~Galatians 5:24-25

I'm no spiritual genius by any standards, but I've learned a lot in the past few months about how these verses play out in my own life. I don't know about you, but I have to put my sinful nature through that process daily...okay, multiple times throughout any given day. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good. It's not even completely what I want. Choosing to live by the Spirit means killing the sinful nature. It's death. Painful and real.

Maybe it doesn't feel that way to you. Maybe your relationship with Christ is so strong that you don't have to fight off that old, sinful part of you in the extreme ways that I do. If that's the case, just praise God that what I need to say today sounds like nonsense to you!

I don't know if it's because I didn't meet Christ until I was 15 years old (for me, that was plenty of time to experience the fleeting pleasure of sin) or if it's because my nature is just more depraved then some. I struggle though. I mean I struggle a lot. I love Christ. I do. I believe God's Word. I hear His voice. I know His amazing love, His unmatched comfort, His abounding grace. Yet I live in this constant struggle between wanting immediate gratification and longing to wait indefinitely on my Lord. I require constant reminders that sin has no power over me. It's True. Why can't I get that through my thick skull...through the depths of my hard heart??

Sometimes the battles within me are small and sometimes they are seemingly insurmountable, but I'm in a constant state of awareness regarding my tendency toward sin. Do you feel that way? Or are you able to function from day to day with such an undeniable understanding and consciousness of greater things that you don't even notice the sinful nature inside you? If you ever find yourself passing through this place (that's right, this valley of total awareness of sin, this place that I live), take heart dear friends. We are in good company. It is Paul who inevitably first crosses my mind. Grab your precious copy of God's Word and join me in Romans. I stand with Paul today and proclaim "What a wretched man am I! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!"~Romans 7:24-25

Though keenly aware of the sinful desires still within me, praise God that I can also join with Paul in his confidence:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."~Romans 8:38-39

Nothing. That means not even me or this exhausting struggle within my own heart. I find inexpressible comfort in the fact that I belong to Christ. He lives within me, and nothing can peel us apart. Sanctification is a bumpy road with many sharp curves and unexpected blockades. I often feel the slips and falls are bruising and breaking me in ways that will never heal, but in reality what's behind the ugliness is a heart that's looking more and more like that of Christ. I'm so thankful for this difficult, beautiful journey to future glory.

Astronomy...or Anatomy??

2007-03-30T11:36:00.000-06:00

As I prepared lunch today, a Baby Einstein DVD played for the kids. As the little ones enjoyed the show, Tyler must have been listening to the lesson about our solar system. I overheard him saying, over and over again...

Earth, Mars, Penis! Earth, Mars, Penis!

Coincidentally, he's also recently learned the correct terminology for his little reproductive part. :)

I have no words...

2007-03-27T17:28:00.000-06:00

I keep telling God, "Okay, this is my breaking point! Please stop!" But it doesn't stop. It's just one thing right after another...and another...and another... He keeps telling me that He can comfort the weary. More on that later, I promise, but tonight I want to share the devotional that came in my email today. There are many things calling my name right now, but praise be to God that His voice is in the mix!

Treasures in Darkness

TGIF Today God Is First

by Os Hillman

"I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." - Isaiah 45:3

"I have never been in this place before. It is new ground for me, and I find I am way out of my comfort zone. I am scared to death to trust Him at this level. I had to confess to the Lord I have not been able to accept or believe His love for me in this area." Those were the words I expressed to a friend when I was in a difficult place in my life. That day when I confessed those words, God led me to this passage of Scripture.What we perceive as dark periods in our lives are designed to be treasures from God. They are actually riches stored in secret places. We cannot see those times in this light because of the often-accompanying pain or fear that prevents us from accepting these times as treasures. They have a particular purpose from God's viewpoint: "...so that you may know that I am the Lord...who summons you by name."You see, unless we are cast into times in which we are completely at God's mercy for breakthroughs in our lives, we will never experience God's faithfulness in those areas. We will never know how personal He is, or that He can be trusted to meet the deepest needs in our lives. God wants each of us to know that we are "summoned by name." Every hair of our head is numbered. He knows every activity we are involved in. His love for you and me knows no bounds, and He will take every opportunity to demonstrate this to us.Has God brought you into a place of darkness? Trust Him today to reveal that hidden treasure that can be found in this darkness. Let Him summon you by name.

I can see heaven!

2007-03-21T19:52:00.000-06:00

We took the boys to the park this evening to enjoy this beautiful springtime weather. It was nice to get out and play, just the four of us. They ran around a bit then both had their eyes on the swings. Finally one became free, and Tyler made a run for it. It was a high swing. I had to lift him onto it. That's okay, he reminded me for the hundredth time today, "I'm a big boy!" I began to push him higher and higher, and his grin grew bigger and bigger. "That's high enough," he hollered down to me. Then I watched him studying the sky above, and with true 3 year old amazement, he said, "Moooom, I'm up so high I can see heaven!"

I know it was just blue sky and clouds. I do know that. But it honestly made me think about how sometimes we just need to take a break, feel the wind on our cheeks, and remember there's a heaven. And those of us who know and trust Christ have a true and eternal home there. We'll really get to see it one day! While I have to be a grown-up, and I have to pay the bills, and I have to meet my responsibilities here on earth, I want to never get soooo caught up in all of it that I forget it's my heavenly Father who's placed me here, just as I lifted Tyler onto that swing. Sometimes I need to rest my legs, let Him push me, and grin just a little bit bigger as He enables me to see beyond my fears and my daily struggles in this life.

Big Kisses

2007-03-20T18:45:00.000-06:00

That's right, big kisses from our amazing Super Ty to my few faithful readers!! :) I told Steve the other day that I think blogging may just be the outlet that I've so desperately needed. I love to write, but I find it hard at this point in life to even stumble upon reason to do so. I've tried the whole "keeping a journal" thing more times than I'd like to admit. It just doesn't work for me. And in case you're dyyying with curiosity, here's why:

1. I always start by writing every day. I use it as a bible study/prayer journal type deal. I'm always super exciting about it at first. Then after about a week, I go back and read what I've already written and find that I don't like it...or me! So I just quit.

2. I have no idea why, but I can't be honest in a journal. I either get all emotional so that everything sounds way worse (or better) than it really is, or I get all spiritual and come across way more focused and godly than I will ever be this side of heaven. Either way, I find what I've written to be only half true and I'm left horrified at the thought of anyone reading it...even after I'm dead.

3. Even worse than the half truths I find are the flat out lies. It's terrifying to discover how deeply and dangerously I have lied to myself. I find it nearly unbearable to see the struggle between my flesh and spirit laid out on paper. What's worse is to look back and see how naive I can be, how easily I am tricked into thinking I have everything under control only to find later the layers of evidence left by a web of sin that had so invisibly entangled me.

4. Some things you just don't want to hang onto, you know? I've been tempted to burn every journal I've begun. I've wanted to rip pages right out of the book, as if destroying the words would somehow rid me of that entire season of life. I get a little too caught up in trying to figure out what's really going to matter and what was just stupid. I realize that I'm being stupid, so my answer is usually just to put the dumb journal up somewhere out of sight...and start a new one. Great idea, moron!

Now I have a place for my thoughts, and if I don't like them later I'll just delete them! :) It's more than that though, there's purpose. I like the idea of being able to give a little bit more of myself to my friends and family out there who are willing to take the time to embrace it. I like the fact that putting myself out here like this holds me accountable in ways that a journal doesn't. I have no idea who might read this, so I have to make sure it's the real me who ends up on the screen. If I "preach" about a faith that can stand up to things like lost jobs and lots of poopy diapers every day, then I have to make sure the real, physical me actually strives to live out that faith day to day. So thank you for reading. Thank you for holding me accountable in your silent and supportive way.

Here we go again...

2007-03-16T12:06:00.000-06:00

What? Dude, you gotta be kidding me!

That's how we feel right now. This can't be for real. We can't honestly be living this same stinkin' cycle of disappointment and what-the-heck-are-we-gonna-do-now-ness. Yet somehow here we are. Steve sent me a text message yesterday morning, which he rarely does. I heard my little text noise and thought "oh cool, something interesting." I don't get texts very often these days. But it was him, and it said "I have sucky news." I had to double check the number, and then I briefly wondered what weirdo had stolen my sweet, old (only compared to me!), bald husband's phone. I'll admit, "sucky" tends to find it's way into my own vocabulary on occasion, but I never hear him use that particular word. So I knew immediately and without doubt that whatever might follow was BAD. He hadn't forgotten his lunch, he didn't have to work late, this wasn't even fender bender language. I quickly texted back, "what." While I waited, I mindlessly shoveled food into a hungry child's mouth and my mind wandered...he's gone, he's fallen in love with someone else....no, that's dumb...someone died...no, suuuurely that would be worth more than a text message...he's lost his job...yep, that's it...here we go again.

Sure enough, the company he worked for decided to do away with his position. He'd just let his boss know that he exceeded his goal for the month, had nothing but positive feedback, no warning whatsoever, and they gave him a one day notice that his job was simply no longer existent. Lovely. Unfortunately my job pays more in hugs and kisses than in actual dollar amounts. Soooo, I fell into dreamland last night going over and over every immediate option I could possibly think of, only to find that each and every one will leave us significantly short financially. At the moment it looks like Steve will try to deliver for DHL again at a desperate salary of half the one he just lost. The nice part of that would be that he could start immediately.

Here's what I'm holding onto. This time around there's more peace in me. I feel considerably less frantic than the 10 million other times this has happened to us. One of my first thoughts was "oh no, we're going to lose this house!" But here's what I know...I know for certain that this house has been a blessing from God. It's a LOT of house for the amount of rent we pay, and it has enabled me to run my childcare business. I know for sure it's where I belong right now. The Lord has given me a love for these children and a desire to care for them that exceeds anything I'd ever expected. I believe He'll provide in a way that we can stay. And you know what, if He has others plans we'll still be okay. We just will. He'll see to it.

Yesterday afternoon I stood at the sink washing some dishes and gazing out the window, taking a break from forcing the smile on my face for the kiddos. I saw something beautiful. A tiny little bird flew right up and landed there in front of me, peered in through my window as if with a smile, and then he flew off without a thought. As I stood there, still in shock from the news, I took comfort in being a child of God...

Matthew 6:25-27

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?"...and then vs.33-34 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Hooray for Warmer Weather!

2007-03-08T15:33:00.000-06:00

The kids are having so much fun getting to go outside now that it's warm enough! It's sooo much easier this year, too. They can all walk, and they don't try to eat leaves and rocks and everything else they can get their curious little hands on. Nice! They are so cute, too. Before I even say "outside" I have to get all the diapers changed and all their little shoes on. Otherwise they're all standing at the door whining before I'm ready to set them free. I have to put Tony's shoes on just before we go, too. He has this enormous fear that I'm going to get him all ready to go and then leave without him. He's done this to us ever since he understood the whole idea of "going." If we put his jacket or shoes on and don't head straight for the door with him, he freaks out on us. Like we've gotten him all ready to go, and now we're going to sneak out without him!

Anyway, the kids are just great. I say "outside," and they all run to the door. If I'm fast enough I get to hold each child's hand as they go down the steps on the porch. I learned ever so quickly which ones to help first, too. Dillon and Garrett will just tumble right on down if they don't get to go first! Sweet little Brianna, on the other hand, won't even step out the door onto the porch without my hand. Once out though, somehow Bri manages to make a bigger mess of herself than any of the boys do! Here are some pictures of a messy day for all of us..

Garrett is an artist just like his Mommy.

This masterpiece is Tyler's.

Dillon likes to help with whatever I'm working on.

Maybe Tony's not much for drawing, but he sure is excited!

And here's Brianna focused on her sidewalk creation.

Jump In!

2007-03-07T17:28:00.000-06:00

Thanks Aunt Susan and Uncle Ike!! Their Christmas gift to Tyler was swim lessons at the Y. He's been sooo looking forward to it. Tyler is our little fish. He loves to go swimming, and he's really pretty good at it, too. He's not scared of the water at all, which can be a little scary for us parents. He can swim a little bit, but I like the idea of him learning more about how to be safe in the water and stay afloat for longer amounts of time and all that. He loves to practice holding his breath under the water in the bathtub...which tends to leave Tony a bit confused! :) I can't wait till summertime when we can get both the boys back out in the water. I don't know where we'll go yet, but we'll figure that out. I have a feeling that's how we'll spend a lot of our Saturdays. I hope Tony likes it as much as Ty always has! Maybe we'll get Gramma and Ga-Ga talked into a pool one of these years.

Swim lessons have also provided this overly possessive Mommy an opportunity to let go a little bit. Let me explain. Steve is a wonderful, fun Daddy. The boys and I are soooo blessed with him. I hear so many women talk about how uninvolved their husbands are with the kids. Steve wants to be a part of everything the boys do. He helps with get ready time, with bedtime, with diapers and other messy kid stuff, just everything really. He's a huge help to me! My own Dad didn't get too into the "kid stuff" when we were little. He's a great Dad, but he just wasn't involved the way Steve is. So I had my Mom with me ALL the time growing up. Every childhood memory includes being with her. So a lot times I get stuck feeling like I need to be the same way with my boys. I feel like I'm not being a great mom if I miss out on something. The thing is, that's really not fair to Steve or to the boys. I'm home with our little guys every day. I get to see a lot of the firsts, and I get to love on them all the time. So lately I've been thinking about how they need some special time alone with Daddy, too.

We were afraid if we took Tony to swim lessons, he'd be really mad the whole time when we found out he couldn't get in the water with Bubba. So I decided this was my chance. Steve was really excited to have a special time alone with Tyler, and they both really enjoyed it. Oh, and I didn't die either. It was actually nice. I got a break from my completely non-stop preschooler, and it turned out Tony was pretty happy to have some alone time with his Mommy. He got in my lap, and we cuddled nearly the whole time Steve and Ty were gone. If you know Tony at all, you know that NEVER happens!! So I learned how precious that one on one time can be and how much of a gift it is to Steve to make sure that he gets that with our boys, too.

Five Years

2007-03-02T09:27:00.000-06:00

I feel like we've been a part of each other forever. Yet somehow it seems like yesterday that I was all dressed up saying "I do." We celebrated our 5th anniversary in November. It's just crazy how time flies. I can't believe how quickly my little baby Tyler turned into this handsome, stubborn, creative, brilliant little boy. I'm reminded today to enjoy each moment of breath, of beauty, yes of craziness with all these kiddos, that God is gracious enough to allow. Praise Him today; for his mercies are new every morning. How wonderful that we can't wear them out. No matter where we are or where we've been, His grace is sufficient. Great is His faithfulness indeed!